Essays
I Cried for Cody Today
by family friend, Crystal Darden
I cried for Cody today. That beautiful little boy, that should be growing and smiling now. My girls think of his family as their own. They are family, even though that relation is not through blood, but through the heart. And we all lost a precious loved one the day that Cody was born. I miss him, and I never got to meet him. I held him, and I wish I could still. I thank his parents for allowing me to share in their brief time with Cody, for I would not have missed it for the world.
My heart weeps for his mommy, daddy and big brother, and I think, "Why, oh, why, couldn't it it have been different that day?" We had all been waiting for the "call." The wonderfully anticipated call saying that Cody was on his way. If only we had known, what that call would be. If only. . .
I had been expecting to hear the news for days. When I finally got the news, all I heard was Jo and hospital, and I wonder if perhaps something in the tone conveyed more than I actually heard. The reason?
I calmly took my children out of their car seats and postponed receiving the news as long as possible. I could not believe what I was being told. Did not want to believe. Shock set in immediately. And all I could think was "I have to get to the hospital." To be there for my friends. To just be there. That day, August 13, 1999, we all lost little Cody. I'm still hurting, my girls are still hurting, and I can only imagine how my friends are hurting.
I can't listen to the news anymore. I just can't. Have you ever noticed the amount of horrific news stories regarding children that are out there? And every week . . . more! I've found myself recently screaming at the television. My children and husband in bed for the night, and here I am screaming at an inanimate object, because it's adding to my nightmares. Exploiting the terrors that face children and infants today. Why in the world do the news networks feel the need to go into such graphic detail and then dwell on it all for weeks to follow? I think I would be better off in my own little ignorant world.
It's all too real to me. Why can't they understand that there are mothers watching?
Cody, we all love you, and always will. And we will see you again. Healthy and happy! That's the way I want to see you, and I look forward to the day we can finally meet. You are forever in my thoughts and in my heart.
Crystal Darden
October 12, 1999
